Written on Sunday 12th April, at 3.01 am, the feelings may not be the same, but chances are, they are

OMFG.

What a fucking bitch.

For fuck’s sake.

Who does that?????

IS SHE BLIND????????????????

It’s the last day of the poor guy’s fucking holidays, and you fucking do this you absolute fucking bitch???????

I swear to God, if I ever meet Sarah from Hull, I’ll fucking kick her face in. I swear to fucking God. And if by some fantastic chance of fate, you’re reading this, fucking watch out, cos I have a lot of fucking rage right now.

Oh my God you didn’t see him.

I actually wanted to cry and hug him at the same time.

Jesus.

Oh my god.

WHO FUCKING DOES THAT????????

The only acceptable reasons involve Johnny Depp, Henry Cavill or Dave from Blue Skies, only those.. or Noel Fielding.. or Russell Brand.. or whoever’s in your Guilt-Free Three.. or
Five in my case.

Oh my Jesus, I want to meet whoever is responsible for this, cos he must be the tallest, best looking, funniest, nicest guy in the whole fucking world for this to be fucking acceptable. WHICH IT FUCKING ISN’T!!!!!!!

Not only did you do that to him, you fucking bitch, but you also ruined our evening!!!!!!!!!

MY NIGHT OUT WAS RUINED BECAUSE YOU HAD TO BE SUCH A FUCKING WHORE AND CHEAT ON YOUR FUCKING FANTASTIC BOYFRIEND/SCORE-BUDDY/WHATEVER RIDICULOUS ARRANGEMENT YOU HAD THAT YOU COULDN’T EVEN KEEP TO COS YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE AND DO QUITE LITERALLY NOT DESERVE TO LIVE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You broke his heart and ruined my night. Your fucking days are fucking numbered.
I HADN’T EVEN GONE UP TO DANCE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my God. He was so devastated. I wanted to cry. So did he, very clearly. I really wanted to tell him I’d been there, but I couldn’t, cos I hadn’t. He had actual claim on her, she was actually not abiding to the terms of whatever agreement they had. Oh my God, and before he was so annoyed cos she hadn’t texted him back. God.

And YOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Miss I’ll-inform-you-on-the-last-night-of-your-holidays-that-Sarah’s-been-galavanting-while-you-were-away-and-I’m-not-lying-cos-I’ve-been-there-and-I-wouldn’t-do-that-to-you-even-though-I-do-quite-fancy-you-what-with-me-being-a-living-female-with-eyes-and-all-and-so-it-would-quite-suit-me-if-things-didn’t-work-out-between-the-two-of-you-as-I-like-every-girl-in-Hull-or-indeed-anywhere-would-be-more-than-happy-to-get-stuck-in!!!!! He’ll be home in 26 hours!!!! Fucking wait til then to go informing him of her misdeeds yeah??!!!!

He’s trying to enjoy the last night of his holidays here!!!

I was getting him good and drunk!!!

We were having a good fucking time!!!!

I am so fucking angry right now!!!!!

Why would anyone do this to him??? If you saw, if you fucking saw what he was like!!! Absolutely fucking devastated!!!

And what did I say when I hugged him? “bye, see you tomorrow”.

Not, I’m so fucking angry, I’ll fly back to Hull now and beat the shit out of her. Or alternatively, write a very angry blog on the subject

Not I’m so sorry, I hope you’re ok, or anything supportive.

I’m so fucking useless in any sort of serious situation.

Oh my fucking god.

What a fucking night.

Is it possible, to have one night out, in any country, with any set of friends, where somebody doesn’t get in a fight, or have relationship problems, or indeed general problems, or isn’t desperately annoying. Can anyone do that ever????

What a fucking bitch.

On so many fucking levels.
(If I had internet, this would be published at 3.31am, but I don’t, so it’s not. Also if I had internet, I would be currently sending a great deal of hate mail to this girl’s facebook. I might link her to this actually. Fucking blind, fucking deaf, fucking sense-of-humor-less, fucking UGLY COW!!! DID I MENTION SHE WAS UGLY?? I DON’T THINK I DID!!! COS IT’S SURE AS HELL WORTH MENTIONING THAT SHE DOESN’T DESERVE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!)

EDIT: Jesus Lisa. I must have been quite angry alright.