I miss blogging

I do actually. I mean it's a bit of a trek and all that, but I do actually like it. Mostly. I suppose it's a good sign that I haven't been blogging recently because it means I haven't been feeling very emo, which as we all know is when I like to blog. But yeah. Or indeed buchyeh, which is one the like mannerisms I've discovered myself saying a lot when I have to edit it out.

Oh yeah I'm back video making again. Of course you know that, because of the like 3 people that read this, all of you know I make videos, cos that's either how you found me, or you actually know me and so know that I'm doing it. Anyway point is I'm back and I like it.

I'm very nostalgic about the past though, how we used to do it and how people used to be and where we all were with our lives and suchlike. 6th year was such a waste of a year. Like I know we did exams and decided life paths and all that, but like, in the grand scheme of things, we did fuck all. I was listening to my <3 playlist the other day, and like all the songs are from specific times, or remind me of different times like "it's such a fifth year song" etc etc, and realised that all of 3 of them were "6th year songs" out of the 54 on the playlist. So it seems I was so busy not studying enough that I didn't even listen to music.
And I don't remember specifically when, but I think it was about the time of Swine Flu being this big scary killer disease instead of being just a really horrible pain in the ass flu, I was thinking, "I can't possibly die, what if I died and spent the last year of my life in a beige jumper and listless?" Cos that's basically all I did last year. Like whenever I go back to the school (most likely to get a lift) and I go to the window, mum always says after "they all so you look so happy!" and this will be after like a day in college, a walk and that hill! And I still look happier than last year? Dear God what must I have looked like??

But yeah, nostalgia is a wonderful thing. And gathering on the 28th! Woohoo! Of course I have an essay due on the Monday, but I'll just have to get that done in advance, and that's all about it. Oh did I mention I got an A- in my last Children's Lit essay? The one I did on the Saturday before the Monday, so I still felt like I had time. Yeah I'm well pleased. I was proper in shock too, like I had resigned myself to a D, hoping maybe for a C, and I was just like =O. Totally worth the two and half hour wait=D

I'm in the library by the way, where I should be working cos I have oodles and oodles of work to do and exams coming up and suchlike, but I have to hang around for a screening of Hamlet at 5, when I normally finish at 2, so hopefully I'll get some work done then. Hopefully. I just felt like writing a blog, and actually had time to do one, so I did.
The guy next to me in here is hilarious, he keeps looking up any time a girl walks past, which is often=P

I hope he can't read this, that would be tres embarrassing.

Well I'm off anyway. I think I might redesign my page a bit, cos April made me a very sexy background for my Youtube, so I might use it here. If I decide to, you see why it's so sexy;)
Yes I'm very self indulgent, but what's new?

Righty ho, off to play and then work<3

Stealing Kate's Idea

Yeah so I'm looking at textsfromlastnight.com so I'm going to steal Kate's idea and put up the ones I'm actual loling at, cos I want to share.

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

(720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

(850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
(850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

(406): my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute

(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
(1-734): what was she crying about?
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

(919): i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"

(978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

(972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
(1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

(619): you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
(716): do you not see the irony in that??

(818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
(1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

(559): Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE !!!!!!!

(440): I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

Look a blog!

I don't apologise for the lack of blogs, as I've had other less trying things to do, and nothing to write about and all that.

So for the last couple of nights even been having really vivid dreams. But not like normal, with people I know in a wacky situation dreams, but like proper complex people I've never met before type dreams. I'd try to describe some of them for you (cos I know you're dying to hear) but aside from the fact that other people's dreams are NEVER interesting, I can't remember enough of them to make them coherent. Brief snatches of things people said, glimpses of faceless people and our surroundings and just the feeling of "that was a good dream, I hate my alarm clock" is not really worth anything. And most of the time they have been really good, except for a proper scary nightmare I had in Bath, and it was the first one I had in literally ages. But otherwise it's been all good. I just had another one (I woke up about an hour ago)and just felt like writing about it. It was about then I realised that there wasn't much I could say.

And it's reasons like this that I haven't written any blogs in for ages.
Righto I'm off to find some food.

Are Bees Attracted To The Colour Red?

I think I remember reading that somewhere. It would also explained what just happened.

I have a big red Vodafone box on my windowsill cos that's what the phone I recently had to revert to (screen on my actual phone cracked AGAIN) came in, nad I'm too lazy to find a proper home for it. I just happened to be looking out the window when I saw a bee fly up to my window and sit on it.
"Go away Bee, it's not safe here!" I said, as just yesterday I saw nature in action. Not 5 centimetres from where that bee currently sat another bee landed, when all of a suddenly, a big massive fuck-off spider appeared out of nowhere and wrapped the poor fuzzy bee up in his evil web of spiderlyness. I couldn't watch the rest of it, but all I know is that that particular bee was not on my windowsill when I next opened my window.
So I saw this new bee on my window, and so moved the box to see if the spider was lurking anywhere nearby, and as I lifted the box away and put it down on my bed, the bee flew away. As there was no need to look for spiders I did not really want to see again, I replaced the box, and the bee came back! That's when something in the back of my mind that read an awful lot of trivia type books when it was young said "aren't bees attracted to red?". I moved the box away and the bee went away.

Now I fear that I may have caused the death of that delightful fuzzy bee yesterday, which most upsets me, cos I was scared of that spider, how fucking scary must it have been if it was bigger than you, and you're quite a substantial bee-size?!

So yeah I want to know. Answer me. I'll google it now but just thought I'd share the story.

And I know I haven't been blogging and there's much more to talk about, but as is the way with these things it was far too long to tweet=)

EDIT: Googled. http://www.newton.dep.anl.gov/askasci/gen06/gen06114.htm says:

Bees and Color

name        Mark
status       other
grade        other
location     WA

Question -   Are bee attracted to any particular color. I am
planning to purchase a yellow kayak and was told yellow attracts
bees.  Is there any truth to this?
--------------------------------------
Mark -

I think someone is trying an "old wives tale" on you.  Bees have vision that
is skewed to the blue end of the human visible spectrum.  They do not see
red.  Having spent much time with bees, I have never noticed an attraction
to yellow.  They do, however, sense black (and since black is the absence
of
color, red would appear black to them) as a sign of danger.  It has been
suggested that this is an inborn reaction to the potential danger to their
colonies from predators (bear and other furry animals) that are often
black.
Their reaction to black would be related to the proximity to their hive.
Their sting is generally used only for protecting the homestead.
Bees are more prone to take exception to certain odors than to color.  But
this becomes a very complicated subject and is unlikely to be a factor for
your kayak adventures.
Hornets, wasps, and yellow jackets are potentially a different subject...
though many people wrongly lump these groups together.

Larry Krengel
a Keeper of the Bees
====================================================================
My source says bees don't see red, but can "see" even into the ultraviolet
part of the electromagnetic spectrum that humans can't see into directly,
i.e. neglecting fluorescence. On the other hand, there are other factors
that play important roles. Lumping together bees, hornets and yellow
jackets -- contrast between colors makes a difference even if the insect
only "sees" black and white, and no color at all. Chemical attractants are
important, some detectable by humans as flower fragrance, but I wouldn't be
surprised if there were other chemical attractants humans can't detect. Bees
"dance" at the hive when a forager returns to the hive. It is pretty certain
that they are communicating direction and distance to the source. Soda and
beer attract bees etc. -- the picnic effect -- probably due to CO2, but I
don't think anyone is really sure. Perfumes seem to attract the attention of
these insects, as well as mosquitoes.  For more information see:

http://plantphys.info/Plants_Human/pollenadapt.html

  My guess is you should paint your kayak red, but remember contrast
counts too, so it may make no difference.

Vince Calder
====================================================================
Bees are indeed attracted to yellow, blue, and white objects.  They also
are attracted to colors in the ultraviolet range that we cannot see.
However, I doubt you will have problems with swarms of bees hovering over
your boat.  You may have a curious forager hover around it every once and a
while, but it should not bother you unless you try to smash it.  If you are
really worried, get a red kayak instead.  As near as we can tell (at least
for honeybees), bees can't distinguish red from grey.

Aurora Toennisson
====================================================================

So if anything, I'm actually warning the bees that there's a big scary-ass spider there. *replaces box* Goodo.

Too long to tweet about..

FFS.
About 15 minutes ago, it was absolutely lashing rain, howling wind etc etc. And I said, by golly I'm hungry, I better go inside (I'm in the office which is a building in and of itself in the garden) and have my lunch now, then start English after lunch. So I made the mad dash across the garden in the rain, and when I got inside, I realised the cleaner was here, and so I couldn't make food til she was gone. So I turned around and shuffle-ran across the wet and frankly dangerous deck, in my birkis, holding up the ends of my tracksuit bottoms back to the office.
I was very cold and wet so turned on my lovely cosy heaters and sat down to do some more work. Of course I didn't do that, I had a little think.
"I actually need to go to the bathroom.. so if she's here now that means she's not going to be gone til 3... I do actually quite need to go to the bathroom... Shh Lisa, you just think that cos you're not allowed go... God I'm reeally hungry... 3 o'clock is literally hours away, I'll never make it... Ok I really really need to go to the bathroom now... But look at that rain! Ah but it could get worse, and you could be trapped in here with no food or bathroom facilities..."
So I decided to make yet another run for it, changed back into my birkis (from my office slippers, which live out here to keep my feet cosy) hoisted up my trousers and ran slamming the door behind me. Of course, the door didn't bloody close did it? No, so I had to go all the way back across, for fear the wind and rain got in and ruined my system. Then I had to go back inside. Take off my very wet shoesies, do the awful squeeze past on the stairs thing with the cleaner, catch sight of my mad "I got caught in heavy rain and now I'm going to dry very curly, even though I'm not actually curly hair" hair in the mirror, go to the bathroom and gather a huge armful of cds for the cd player (this whole "just having my laptop out here for itunes" malarky isn't exactly working out, as you might have guessed), do the awkward shuffle on the landing again, do the pantomime "sneaking thief" walk across the wet hall floor, go into the kitchen and reassess. I needed rations. After a raid of the transportable food in the fridge and pantry, I came away with 2 slices of Charleville white cheddar, a bag of Tayto cheese and onion crisps (which I haven't had in ages and are fabulously delicious, I'm eating them now), a purple snack bar and the last 2 rows of a big Dairy Milk bar. Sufficient food for someone who won't be eating for near on 2 more hours, but I was reeeally hungry. I had a glass of water already in the office, so that was beverages sorted out, now I just needed to balance the motley assortment of items required for study in my arms, while being able to open the doors and protect things from the rain.
I was all organised, and opened the back door, ready for the hit, when I realised it had stopped raining. Of course it had. Nonetheless I made my way carefully across still-slippery deck and out to my little house, which was delightfully warm, thanks to the quick work of the radiators, put on slippers and sat down, and tucked into the cheese.

And now I'm here, writing this blog, not half an hour after this adventure began, and the sky is blue, the sun is shining, and every surface of the garden is bone dry. This is not acceptable. I want to be complimented on my bravery and valour in the face of such obstacles, instead of being told "you stupid girl, you should have just waited". But no I had to act like Jimmy and make a dash for it...

Oh well, at least I got a blog out of it. I had originally intended to tweet about it, but as you can see, you'd just be missing out if I tried to condense it down to the bare facts=P

EDIT: 2.13pm: It's hailstoning!!! Mwahahahahaha!!!

I found an emo poem at the back of a refill pad!

I wrote this ages ago in Italian I think.. but yeah I found it today and would like to share it with you:

I am a Danish pastry.
You can't tell, because you are a Danish pastry too.
We are all Danish pastries
Living in a bakery.
The bakery of life.
The bakery of pain.
Nuff said.
Word.

=D

I am so angsty right now, it's actually too angsty to put into a blog. That's quite angsty. Like I'd be embarassed to put it into a blog. That's how emo I feel.

So I shall watch movies til one is sufficiently sad enough to make me cry for the rest of the night til I go to sleep.

Nuff said.
Word.

inorite?

I haven't done a meme in aages..

Pick an artist and then answer all the questions with a song title=D

Artist:
Lemon Demon

Are you male or female?
Not Applicable

Describe yourself:
Consumer Whore

How do you feel about yourself?
Funniest

Describe where you currently live:
It Can Get Lonely In My Mansion

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
Elsewhere

Your favourite form of transportation:
Chu Chu Rocket

Your best friend is:
Deep In The Ocean

Your favourite colour is:
Vanilla

What's the weather like?
Sky Is Not Blue

Favourite time of the day:
The Afternoon

If your life was a tv show, what would it be called?
This Hyper World

What is life to you?
Like A Balloon

What is the best advice you have to give?
What Will Happen Will Happen

If you could change your name, what would it be?
Bill Watterson

Your favourite food is:
Toy Food

Thought for the day:
What's In The Toaster?

How I would like to die:
When Robots Attack

My soul's present condition:
Fine

The faults I can bear:
Subtle Oddities

My motto:
Nothing Worth Loving Isn't Askew

I miss you, but I can't tell you. I'll never tell you. But I do. If I put it out there it might reach the right person, and I won't have to miss anyone.

I'm supposed to be doing my linking material but I can't.
And I have drama second class, I think she expects it to be learned off.

Ow. My heart feels like I've had too much caffeine when quite the opposite is true. I want to sleep. And cry. Not necessarily in that order.

Disconnected Rambles.. like more than usual

Random thoughts that I would have put in a random blog had I internet connection, which I didn’t til now..

I haz me a graduation dress!!!! It’s got like a black twisty design at the top, and it’s down to my knee and the dress part is dark blue and black and white in a diamondy sort of pattern, it’s very nice=D And I have lovely blue shoes and a matching bag, but the shoes are quite literally torturous to wear, but look reeeeeeally nice with it!!! I need to lose weight off my feet. Can you do that? Well my big toe on my right foot really, that’s the problem area, but all over probably wouldn’t hurt. My mum tried them on and was like they’re perfect and I was like well yeah, you’re 2 shoe sizes smaller than me!! Of course they’re perfect! It just proves my point. I’m going to try to break them in, but they are mainly plastic based, with shiny satin on top, but I don’t think they’ll have a lot of give. And I need to learn how to walk in them cos I can’t walk in heels, which they are, cos I’ve never had any need to, but these were pretty, and I’ll be taller than everyone anyway, so I might as well make it a decent distance.

Music just sounds better in the dark.

I like really hot showers. Like so hot that it’s almost too hot, but not quite. So when you get out you can see the steam coming off you. I’ve never really thought about how much I detest the cold, but I really do. And I so frequently am cold and all. Perpetually cold nose and feet. I think I will have to move to warmer climes in le future, being all pink all the time is better than only being able to wear like 1/5 of my wardrobe for 9 months of the year. That’d be ok if I was one of these people who was just always pregnant and therefore in maternity wear, but I’m not, so it’s not! I actually get confused when I’m not supposed to wear a long sleeved top under a tshirt with a hoodie and jeans. I actually don’t know what to wear. 7 days a week I go to school wearing the same thing, with a different tshirt, and the jumper depends on the weather, but there’s only like 4 I wear all the time. That’s not cool. I have sooo many clothes, and nearly all of them inappropriate for winter. That and I’m also soo not bothered. Some people (not looking at anyone in particular of course.. you know who you are!!) come into school every day in a different, nice, well-thought-out outfit. Every single day! That means thinking about clothes every single day! Dear oh dear..

Now I see it all. Those two children love each other. Well why not? So much the better. I hope they’ll be very happy. Ah, how I could even have thought...
It didn’t take her long to let the cat out of the bag. I admit I never suspected... in fact the news has quite shaken me. But wait a while, it’s not over yet.
Oh my God, what am I saying? What’s the matter with me? I don’t recognise myself. Have I come to that? What am I doing? I’m trying to give that poor girl away in marriage to an old man! I’m trying to use the doctor... he suspects, makes hints... Then there’s Arkady, and Rakitin. Ah..
But it’s really too much. Me jealous of Vera? Can I be... can I really have fallen in love with him?

First section of my drama piece, you like? The bold is where I went wrong, cos I’m trying to learn it and all, and this was open already and I’m too lazy to do it anywhere else. Woohoo unrequited love. It gets better and all.. but that will have to wait til I learn this section=D

Which though it is some hours later, is now for you people=P

What? Do you still doubt it? Yes, you’re in love you wretched woman! How it happened, I don’t know. It’s as if I’d been poisoned. Suddenly everything’s shattered and confused. He’s afraid of me. Everyone’s afraid of me.
And what could he possibly see in me? What would he want with someone like me? He’s young, and she’s young. And I!
Ah how could he understand me? They’re both silly just as Rakitin says. Ah, that one, I can hardly stand him for being so clever. And Arkady, my good trusting Arkady. Oh God I wish I were dead!
But good heavens, I must be going out of my mind! Why exaggerate after all? Well, alright, I’ve received a blow, I’m not accustomed. It’s the first time I... yes the first time! It’s the first time I’ve been in love!

Poop *goes to learn some more*

I think one of the best things I ever did was buy the CliffsNotes for Jane Eyre, because I cannot possibly bear to read that ghastly book again in its entirety. Detailed summaries will certainly do for me, thank you very much.

You know what’s pretty? “You Lisa” I hear you all chorus, thank you, thank you many fans and admirers, but that’s not what I was referring to. =D
When it’s like evening time, before the sun has gone down, and my bedroom shutters are closed, but the light is coming through in little gold lines on my wall/wardrobe depending on the time of year. It’s all golden and lovely and makes me happy inside.

Just watched last episode of the first series of the American Office, which I <3 even though I hadn’t been expecting to, and it turns out I hadn’t seen that episode, and it features none other than Oscar Nominated Actress Amy Adams! She’s so purty! I also do rather want to marry Jim Halper. Although I’m sure John Krasinski or whatever his name is (note to self, check his name) is rather wonderful, and that Emily Blunt is desperately happy, but I know Jim quite well at this stage, and I do believe we’d make a lovely couple. I really ought to add him to my list of fictional characters you would. Even if he does have an actor and all that, and that’s why he’s so tall. Also have a soft spot for Ryan, or BJ as we call him, that being his name and all. You know he writes it? I know, he’s very clever is our BJ. He reminds me so much of someone but don’t know who and it’s really starting to annoy me. Particularly as I think the person he’s reminding me of is himself in a different episode.. and that is very sad indeed..

I’ve been listening to a lot of DFTBA Radio in the last 2 weeks, cos I have the podcasts, and it’s reeeally good! The music is awesome, and I have 2 new musgasmic songs for you all: Exterminate Rengenerate by Chameleon Circuit, awesome awesome awesome music, even if you don’t know anything about Dr Who like mee, still verrrry good=D And the other is Stalingrad by Michael Aranda, which is what all the Russian techno lastfm keep recommending me just wishes it could be, like a lot of it is good, but another lot of it is very very bad, like it’s just noise. And I don’t often say that about music. But yes, go subscribe to the podcasts on the itunesage just search dftba radio, or go to the website, which I haven’t actually been to yet, I just downloaded these and buggared off, but its dftba.com. Cos there’s much more awesome music that I haven’t mentioned yet, in them and it’s fun and all and Todd has such an excellent voice for radio, and that Caitlin girl seems lovely tooXD

Just made a playlist of songs that are made of awesome. Like the 5 star songs that make you wish there was a higher rating than 5 stars to give them. Those songs. So far I have 49, which I will now tell you, cos the theme of deception in Macbeth just does not interest me.
So in alphabetical order:
Ache - James Carrington
Adieu - Enter Shikari
Badman - NSG
Ben Bernanke - Lemon Demon
Breathe Me - Sia
Candy Girl - Soviet
Dark Blue - Jack’s Mannequin
Decode - Paramore
Eels - The Mighty Boosh
Eve’s Beach - Dave Reardan
Eyes On Fire - Blue Foundation
Facades - Philip Glass
Get Smashed Gate Crash - Hadouken!
Glory Box - Portishead
Gorecki - Lamb
Hate Me - Blue October
He’s A Pirate - Pirates of the Carribean
The Heart Asks Pleasure First - Michael Nyman
Helena - My Chemical Romance
Hold Me Closer - NSG
I Giorni - Ludovico Einaudi
I Will Follow You Into The Dark - Death Cab For Cutie
I Will Follow You Into The Dark (cover) - Blue Skies
I. Lento—Sostenuto Tranquillo Ma Cantabile (1st Movement of Symphony of Sorrowful Songs) - Henryk Gorecki
Inside - Blue Skies
Iris - Blue Skies
Kiss Britney’s Boyfriend - Titus Jones
Lucky - Jason Mraz & Colbie Caillat
Lying Is The Most Fun A Girl Can Have Without Taking Her Clothes Off - Panic at the Disco
(Mucho Mambo) Sway - Shaft
Natural Anthem - The Postal Service
No More - Alex Day
The River Flows In You - Yiruma
Santa Maria (Del Buen Ayre) - Go Tan Project
Sea Of Love - Cat Power
Skins Theme Tune - Fat Segal
Sound Of Pulling Heaven Down - Blue October
Such Great Heights - The Postal Service
Supermassive Black Hole - Muse
Telekinesis - Lemon Demon
That Boy That Girl - Hadouken!
Theme From The Mighty Boosh
There’s A Good Reason These Tables Are Numbered Honey, You Just Haven’t Thought Of It Yet - Panic at the Disco
Unintended - Muse
Untrust Us - Crystal Castles
Word Disassociation - Lemon Demon
You Can Call Me Al - Paul Simon
5 Years Time - Noah & The Whale
18th Floor Balcony - Blue October

Woohoo! Yay for awesome music! And Exterminate Regenerate and The Witch’s Song will be on there quite literally the second I have them=D

Written on Sunday 12th April, at 3.01 am, the feelings may not be the same, but chances are, they are

OMFG.

What a fucking bitch.

For fuck’s sake.

Who does that?????

IS SHE BLIND????????????????

It’s the last day of the poor guy’s fucking holidays, and you fucking do this you absolute fucking bitch???????

I swear to God, if I ever meet Sarah from Hull, I’ll fucking kick her face in. I swear to fucking God. And if by some fantastic chance of fate, you’re reading this, fucking watch out, cos I have a lot of fucking rage right now.

Oh my God you didn’t see him.

I actually wanted to cry and hug him at the same time.

Jesus.

Oh my god.

WHO FUCKING DOES THAT????????

The only acceptable reasons involve Johnny Depp, Henry Cavill or Dave from Blue Skies, only those.. or Noel Fielding.. or Russell Brand.. or whoever’s in your Guilt-Free Three.. or
Five in my case.

Oh my Jesus, I want to meet whoever is responsible for this, cos he must be the tallest, best looking, funniest, nicest guy in the whole fucking world for this to be fucking acceptable. WHICH IT FUCKING ISN’T!!!!!!!

Not only did you do that to him, you fucking bitch, but you also ruined our evening!!!!!!!!!

MY NIGHT OUT WAS RUINED BECAUSE YOU HAD TO BE SUCH A FUCKING WHORE AND CHEAT ON YOUR FUCKING FANTASTIC BOYFRIEND/SCORE-BUDDY/WHATEVER RIDICULOUS ARRANGEMENT YOU HAD THAT YOU COULDN’T EVEN KEEP TO COS YOU’RE A FUCKING WHORE AND DO QUITE LITERALLY NOT DESERVE TO LIVE ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You broke his heart and ruined my night. Your fucking days are fucking numbered.
I HADN’T EVEN GONE UP TO DANCE YET!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh my God. He was so devastated. I wanted to cry. So did he, very clearly. I really wanted to tell him I’d been there, but I couldn’t, cos I hadn’t. He had actual claim on her, she was actually not abiding to the terms of whatever agreement they had. Oh my God, and before he was so annoyed cos she hadn’t texted him back. God.

And YOOOOOOU!!!!!!!!!!!!! Miss I’ll-inform-you-on-the-last-night-of-your-holidays-that-Sarah’s-been-galavanting-while-you-were-away-and-I’m-not-lying-cos-I’ve-been-there-and-I-wouldn’t-do-that-to-you-even-though-I-do-quite-fancy-you-what-with-me-being-a-living-female-with-eyes-and-all-and-so-it-would-quite-suit-me-if-things-didn’t-work-out-between-the-two-of-you-as-I-like-every-girl-in-Hull-or-indeed-anywhere-would-be-more-than-happy-to-get-stuck-in!!!!! He’ll be home in 26 hours!!!! Fucking wait til then to go informing him of her misdeeds yeah??!!!!

He’s trying to enjoy the last night of his holidays here!!!

I was getting him good and drunk!!!

We were having a good fucking time!!!!

I am so fucking angry right now!!!!!

Why would anyone do this to him??? If you saw, if you fucking saw what he was like!!! Absolutely fucking devastated!!!

And what did I say when I hugged him? “bye, see you tomorrow”.

Not, I’m so fucking angry, I’ll fly back to Hull now and beat the shit out of her. Or alternatively, write a very angry blog on the subject

Not I’m so sorry, I hope you’re ok, or anything supportive.

I’m so fucking useless in any sort of serious situation.

Oh my fucking god.

What a fucking night.

Is it possible, to have one night out, in any country, with any set of friends, where somebody doesn’t get in a fight, or have relationship problems, or indeed general problems, or isn’t desperately annoying. Can anyone do that ever????

What a fucking bitch.

On so many fucking levels.
(If I had internet, this would be published at 3.31am, but I don’t, so it’s not. Also if I had internet, I would be currently sending a great deal of hate mail to this girl’s facebook. I might link her to this actually. Fucking blind, fucking deaf, fucking sense-of-humor-less, fucking UGLY COW!!! DID I MENTION SHE WAS UGLY?? I DON’T THINK I DID!!! COS IT’S SURE AS HELL WORTH MENTIONING THAT SHE DOESN’T DESERVE HIM IN THE FIRST PLACE!!!!!!!!!!!!)

EDIT: Jesus Lisa. I must have been quite angry alright.

Dedicated To A Special Someone

Originally written: Tue 7 April 2009 00:17 am
Uploaded now cos of internettage

Mmhmmhmmhmm,
Mmhmmhmmhmm,
So this is love,
Mmhmmhmmhmm,
So this is love,
So this is what makes life divine.
I’m all aglow,
Mmhmmhmmhmm,
And now I know,
- And now I know,
The key to what heaven is like.
My heart has wings,
Mmhmmhmmhmm,
And I can fly,
I’ll touch every star in the sky.
So this is the miracle,
That I’ve been dreaming of,
Mmhmmhmmhmm,
Mmhmmhmmhmm,
So this is love.
<3

Oh get a life.

*collapses*

It is one thing to pack my bag to go on holidays.
It is another thing to pack my bag to go on holidays, when I have school the next day and will need some of those books in class but also to bring them away with me, stress, stress.
Additional stress includes a test to study and an essay to finish.

This is quite a busy evening. Throw in the fact that I have to quite literally empty my bathroom, and tidy my room for the first time in months, you can imagine what it's like.

I also have to put sheets over everything, cos apparently pulling the floor up creates a lot of dust. I'm telling you it cannot be as bad as the dust that is already on that floor where my shelves and crap were. Good grief I've been sneezing as it is, I don't need the extra motivation.

So yeah I had my Irish oral today and it was fine. She asked loads about my house, cos I was saying that there are a lot of seantithe galanta i mo cheantar, and I think she thought mine was one of them, she was like do you have loads of bedrooms? And I like did my line on having my own bathroom and all that and with all the girls it's important to have our own bathrooms, but like we talked for what seemed like ages about it. I barely got to throw in my April san Iodail story! But yeah seems like it was fine. But I'm totaly wrecked now, cos it was supposed to be on yesterday, but she was running mad late, and after waiting on tenterhooks all day I didn't even get to go in.

There's more things I want to talk about but I'm totally wrecked now and it's two, so I'm going to go to sleep. I'll see if we can hack Emily's internet when we get out there, and I might be able to blog properly there. You know if I get internet in Lanzarote, I will have like no reason to ever come back.

Ok hurt my neck yawning so much, so sleep now<3

Can you tell my favourite colour is blue?

Yeah you may have noticed I did a bit of literal spring cleaning around the place, well the virtual place. I added some widgies (I know they're widgets, but widgies is much more fun to say) on your left there, yes I saw most of them on other people's and wanted them myself, but that's how life is. You may also notice I have a new picture up there. I want to live there. I don't know where there is, as I found it using that Multicolr Search Lab thing D recommended (and I went through all your old blogs trying to find the link and all.. it took ages! Boy howdy you like to blog!! There's like thousands of them!) so yeah.. long parenthesis.. But yes. I want that picture. I want to be it. I want to live in it. I want to feed it to puppies. I want to take it out to dinner. And rainbows. I just felt like saying that.

I feel really like blogging. But I don't have anything to say. Other than I feel really sick. And I am literally going to eat carrots and cucumbers for the rest of the week. On the upside I have an almost perfect blogging playlist now. There's only about 20 songs on it, but they're goodies fo sho.

Oh and I'm totally scarred by the things I saw here. They're not there any more though. Cos I went to show April, and they were gone. I had to miss like 45 minutes of study cos of the damage done to me after seeing that. And we dirtied Jaimie's iPhone with its dirtyness. There are some things you never need to see. That was one of them.

This is such a good playlist for blogging. I can't wait til my next bout of angst. Sitting here I could be a fat version of May. I need to recreate a lot of this for linking material actually. Read over old bloggies etc. That'll be a fun day.

Think I might do a bit more history now. But I'm so tired=(

CALLING ALL LATIN NERDS!!!!

Go here:
http://tinyurl.com/ddnk9x

Immediately! You will I promise absolutely lulz your socks off<3

Being Deep

Conversazione del mio personal message sul msn:


Lalage says: (23:25:48)
But yes.. if you have any rocks, throw them at boys=D

Kevin says: (23:26:22)
that's not fair
Kevin says: (23:26:31)
now if I find a rock I have to run away from myself
Kevin says: (23:26:48)
and no matter how fast I run I'll always be right there
Kevin says: (23:26:50)
with a rock!

Lalage says: (23:27:04)
It's like a metaphor for life
Lalage says: (23:27:20)
Or something

Kevin says: (23:27:22)
running away from yourself cos you have a rock in your hand?
Kevin says: (23:27:33)
ah but of course, my dear!
Kevin says: (23:27:51)
aren't we ALL running away from ourselves cos we have rocks in our hands and we'll throw them at ourselves?
Kevin says: (23:28:15)
society is self-destructive on a certain level; you could make SUCH modern art out of this

We are like, so deep=P

Meltdown

First they changed the tagliatelle, and I did not speak out because I did not eat tagliatelle.
Then they changed the chicken tikka, and I did not speak out because I did not eat chicken tikka.
Then they changed my Sticky Chilli Chicken... and there was no one to speak out for me...

Not only that. Not only have they taken away the one beauty of staying home on a Friday night (aside from new QI) not only have they taken away the most foodgasmic meal known to mankind. But now. But now. They take away my Sweet and Sticky Ribs. Officially the nicest sauce on the earth, has been "improved".

STOP FUCKING IMPROVING THINGS THAT DON'T FUCKING NEED TO BE IMPROVED!!!! WE ALL KNOW IT'S FUCKING UNHEALTHY, IF I WANTED A HEALTHIER OPTION, I WOULDN'T BE EATING FUCKING READY MADE FUCKING MARKS AND FUCKING SPENCERS FOOD WOULD I????????? I HAVE LITTLE ENOUGH IN THIS LIFE, WHY TAKE AWAY MY LAST JOYS????? WHY TAKE THE ONE FUCKING THING THAT FUCKING MEANS FUCKING ANYTHING TO ME ANYMORE??? WHY WOULD YOU FUCKING DO THIS??? SERIOUSLY!!!! THIS FUCKING YEAR I DO NOT NEED TO BE DENIED FOOD!!!!!! GIVE ME MY FUCKING FOOD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I like food.

There is no way you could understand how angry I am about this.


Don't you dare say "it's just food".






I kill you.

*cough cough cough cough cough*

Sorry about the coughing but that is literally all I have been doing, all the live long day.

I like my own room in study though, fun for chatsies.

It seems that everyone and their mother has got an iphone now. Not me, just my mother. Who got a new ipod for Christmas, which she didn't need, cos her other one was working fine. Yes this is my technologically challenged, afraid of the internet mother. She's been better recently but fucking Jesus, an iphone is a bit much for somebody who needed neither a new phone, nor a new ipod!!! You know who needs a new phone and a new ipod? ME!!! You know who would actually make the most of apps and stuff? ME!!!

But don't worry, I'll have one for Summer in the City. Because if I get the results I want, I'll be getting an iphone and the fact that that weekend is rechecks weekend will mean little to me. If I don't get the results I want, I won't get an iphone, won't be going to Summer in the City, cos I'll need to get my papers checked, will be waiting for my papers to come back til October, so will have missed all the freshers/foreigners orientation at Queens if I get in, or I won't get in and not get my number 2, will probably have not gotten into drama at Trinity cos of lack of commitment, and so will either be doing the new English and Drama course at UCD... or Arts in UCD... and no offense to anyone who wants to do that, but I think I'll take a year out and go find a bedsit for out of work youtubers...

So no pressure then.

I'm selfish and materialistic, and if you don't know this by now, you should probably stop reading these.. or being my friend altogether.. I'd just annoy you..

I think I'll start my history  research topic this evening.

50th Post.. traditional perhaps

Yeah. FFS.

I mean seriously.

I am so too mature for this, I mean Tom Felton is following me on Twitter. I am a grown up who is too big - in every sense of the word - for this nonsense.

I mean Jesus.

Like.

UGH!!!

I try so hard to do well and then it's just impossible. It is now anyway. 

Ugh.

I suppose it's appropriate.

I still don't understand though.

I mean, how?? WHY??? Guk..

FFS.

Oh well sure. Of course. Fucking typical.

Jesus.

Oh Lisa, you sad sad little girl. You should be better than this. I raised you better than this. What did we talk about?

FAIL

Of course.

No more blog I think.

Don't worry children just this one, not in general.

And don't ask what this is about, and if you think you know, you don't=)

Emo Poetry

I didn't feel like doing any work in study today, so I didn't. Instead I wrote emo poetry for Emma. View:

(When it had started raining)

The rain is like tears.
My tears.
Tears of blood.
On my heart.
I cry pain and sorrow.
Disturbing study.
Study disturbs me.
To Death.
Nuff said.
Word.

(When the sun came out)

The sun cuts through the clouds.
Like my craft knife into my skin.
When I cry, my skin cries.
Blood.
Nuff said.
Word.

(Emma wanted me to write an epic love poem)

My love for you burns like
the sun on my pale emo skin.
When I see you, it feels like
Your heavily gloved and bejewelled hand
Reaches inside my empty chest
And grasps my bleeding heart.
When I talk to you, it feels like
You pull it from me
With the force of my love.
Which is strong.
Strong like my love.
As strong as my self-hatred.
Strong.
Like my burning love.
It burns.
Like the hell I'm bound for.
Because nobody loves me.
Not even you.
I love like the silent tears on my face.
Silently.
But strong..
..ly..
Nuff said.
Word.

(After Emma rejected my poetic advances)

You throw my poetry back in
My face.
Your face.
HA.
How do you like me now bitch??
Your dismissal tortures me
Mit Brennender Storge
In my soul.
Nuff said.
Word.

German is the real language of love<3

*screams* *slams door*

Just a brief snow-related anecdote.

Heather, Kate and I (I'm sure you don't mind name use, it isn't libellous is it? Oh I make myself lol) were about to leave the 6th form centre, to you know leave, so I open the door, and I'm faced with a bunch of Sandford boys. Not unusual for a Tuesday afternoon, true, but these ones had snowballs. So we go to walk out the door, they noticed I opened it and all turn and with warcries start throwing the snowballs. Luckily, as soon as they turned, I screamed and slammed the door.
Over the next 10 minutes, we opened the door a crack and they would all still be there, with more ammunition, and we were inside, and so had none with which to retaliate=(
Not amusing to those of you who weren't there, but it was funny at the time.

*Epic Wins, If You Will*

• Ben knocking on the door saying "It's the police!" like a bad strippogram
• Having just closed the door again, Heather asking "Have they gone?" while a snowball, which I had seen coming, hit the closed door with a resounding thump, like she had asked it, the snow ball=)
  
• Aiveen trying to get in the door, and us not letting her, and as she got in, everyone crowding around, throwing snow into the 6FC, and Kate, who was behind me (although I may have screamed and run away) explicably covered in snow as a result
• Yelling at the door "Let Us OOUUUUTT!!!!" while they tried to knock in an official sort of way so we would answer the door
• Rachael suggesting we gather the snow on the carpet they had thrown in to make our own snowballs
  
• Trying to sneak out the back door and seeing Mrs Healy giving out to them *lulz*

Yeah I think that was it. But it was really funny at the timeXD

Plus I didn't have a camera, so I don't have any deep and moving pictures of snow like everyone else. EVERYONE ELSE!

<3

*sigh*

I miss people.

I miss seeing people, in real life, not through a haze of alcohol, and not in Dundrum.

I miss people I haven't seen in ages, and I miss people I see often.

I miss people I used to talk to but don't anymore. One of those in particular. But no matter, he'll come back soon enough. He always does. He better. *shakes fist*

I miss the semi-freedom of last year. It wasn't so much going out as being able to be on my laptop whenever I wanted to. And I know it was a really bad idea and all that, but it was so much better to be able to write blogs when I felt like it, read blogs, and make videos, and watch videos! Remember that? When I watched videos???

My o key is being totally retarded and I have to keep going back to redo it. Twice in that last sentence.

I miss having a life. I was looking at my TY Diary today, I mean we were losers, and soo young, but at least we went out and had lives, and talked to each other and stuff.

I want a life. I want it to be summer now, but not this summer, cos this summer is the end (and beginning blah blah blah) of life as we know it, and we'll be grown ups. But I want it to be the sort of summer that's warm (or even mild) and dry, and we can go to the park or town or anywhere, and wear flipflops and sunglasses, and just walk around with each other, having a damn awesome time.

I want to stay up all night, and watch the sunrise and go to bed at 7 in the morning and get up at 3 in the afternoon.

And I actually miss my get skinny walks in the park, cos it was always so pretty and sunny and lovely, and it was bonding time with Ringo, which I don't get enough of anymore.

I just want to be able to do something enjoyable again, without the "shouldn't you be studying?" voice there. And by the time I'll be able to, it will almost be too late. We'll already be grownups.


And it occured to me today as I was perusing the classic quotebook (which is just so cringy it's ridiculous), we're not going to have a quotebook anymore. Like when we put up the last of the quotes on the internet, after summer presumeably, that will be it. No more quotebook.

And now I'm crying. Smooth Lisa.

But like, no quotebook!!!!

Can we not like finish school, and have the rest of life be an infinite summer?

I'm so having a Peter Pan moment right now.

And by the way, Eyes on Fire by Blue Foundation is quite literally the soundtrack to my life. Like 30 times in the last month, according to my itunes here. Also Sea of Love by Cat Power. Yays.

Oh life, will you ever be less full Leaving Cert??
Life: Yes, but first we must have some more Leaving Cert!!!


I really want a hug. Not even a tall person hug, though that would be preferable, just a hug from someone, my heart is hurting and not like it does after a steep hill. Har har har, Lisa made a fitness based joke.

But it is.

And it's cos I miss you<3

Un Sogno

A little bloggerino just before I go back to studying..

I had a very odd but good dream this morning. Full of the things that make dreams awesome. Time travel, heartache, an Italian lady whose eyebrows got smaller as she aged, a love interest, panoramic views from very high up in leather seats in front of a huge plate glass window, a very nice grey coat, an abandoned cottage in the countryside that was clearly not in Ireland, a train, confusion with lifts, deja vu, and a cinematic ending that was tragic and cliched in equal measure, but mostly tragic for me.. though it didn't quite make sense..

Ah I love dreams. And that's a much more interesting way of describing one than having to listen to the whole dream start to finish, which can get dull for someone who wasn't there and wouldn't really get it anyway. And it was a long dream.

<3

Personal Statement, naffness for your reading pleasure.. ish...

It may sound clichéd to say that I’ve had an interest in English and drama all my life, but I literally have. I’m told that when I was young, my favourite thing would be to listen to the adults just talking, absorb words and repeat them (some more appropriate than others!). My mum was also key in giving me an interest in reading, having been told by her uncle “You can’t force them to be readers” she certainly did her very best, and it worked for me. I have always loved reading from Flip and Flop, to The Secret Seven, to Harry Potter, to Pride and Prejudice, to Twilight, to Paper Towns, and more or less everything in between. Writing has also been one of my passions, and I’ve always loved writing anything down, especially stories, which have thankfully matured since the mermaid and princess stories of my youth. I’ve also kept diaries, however infrequent, almost since I learned how to write, and I now keep more regular blogs on the internet, which I keep as coherent as I can, when they’re not rife with teenage angst of course.

As far as I’m aware, as long as I’ve loved reading and writing, I’ve loved drama and acting. I started going to a drama class when I was six and absolutely loved it. After receiving a distinction in my first drama exam I moved to an “advanced class”, in which the teacher was terrifying, and only my absolute commitment to drama kept me from dropping out. When I went into secondary school, I started drama lessons there and it was a very different, much more positive experience. However, since there are only two people in a group I do miss working in a larger group, and putting on productions, so I always try to get involved in musical, play or otherwise whenever I can. Last year I also had my first experience of working backstage, as stage manager for a play our school entered in a competition (and won), and I really enjoyed it, and would like to have some more experience in that area.

My other hobbies, outside of drama and reading and writing, would be standard teenage answers, I love music – and though I do well in solo singing and choirs, unfortunately I can’t play an instrument – and I love going out with my friends and travelling. I’ve been lucky enough to go to some amazing places with my family, and I have a very long list of other places I want to see someday too! Another of my less common hobbies is video-blogging. I make videos about anything I feel like and post them on YouTube, and while it may sound like quite an odd activity, there are so many good aspects, one of the main ones being I have made amazing friends from all over the world through it, by getting in touch with fellow video-bloggers and I’ve actually met several of them at YouTube get-togethers and count them friends for life. As well as the social aspect, YouTube has also greatly improved the computer skills that I had not learned as part of my ECDL, particularly with video and sound editing software, on both PCs and Macs; as well as refining my communication skills, by being able to get across my meaning clearly and eloquently, and not taking a 9 minute video to do so!

I also frequently babysit for friends and neighbours, as I get on well with children, and feel responsible enough to look after them.

As a person I am very friendly and like meeting new people, and I’m rather enthusiastic about things, which people can sometimes find a little surprising, but when they get to know me, I’m kind, have a great sense of humour, and am a really good friend and person to be around in general. I am mostly organised, helped by the fact that I am a bit of a stationary fiend, and like to know that everything has its place, wherever it is.

I haven’t decided what I want to do after I finish university, I think perhaps something media-based, but at the moment as I’m not absolutely sure, I can’t think of a better thing to do than read two of my favourite things for the next four years.

I had to keep cutting it down, it was a killer..