Isn't it amazing what music can do? I just stopped listening to the 18th playlist for the first time in days, cos it's late and I want something a bit more relaxy, and so I put on the Nappy-poo playlist on for the first time in ages.
The first song started playing and immediately, like literally the second it started playing the fuzzy feeling around my heart came back, considering I've been in a good mood all weekend! Is that not so bizzare?? I mean I know music can like inspire feelings and stuff but Jesus! It acts fast doesn't it?
I assume that this is because I associate this song with the tiring people (yes them again, don't we just love it) but you know I really don't need that now. I have exams. I should be in bed. I'm not even skipping the song, I'm letting it play. There's definitely something weird about this, it's like I don't want to turn it off or something, but I hate feeling like this but I don't. Uuugghh why am I such a freak? Gaaaay. I'm totally not in a place to mope at the minute.
Damn, I hoped that when the song changed it would go away. Nope. I really ought to stop listening to this when I'm talking to these people. Or I could stop talking to them. What my pal Dr Phil would call "toxic friendships". Ha. I'd love to try that. It'd be hilarious. How do you cut out people that are such an intregal part of the whole getting through the day thing? Doesn't know his arse from his elbow that Dr Phil. He is cool though. Reminds me of being sick.
Ahh Coyotes.. Ok different sad now. Oklahoma = best thing ever ever ever.
This can't last much longer though can it? I mean at times I think that it won't, but also that it will. Especially while it lasts. In the meantime, I'm totally over-compensating. Like ridiculously. It's hard not to. And I know that some people have definitely picked up on it. It's all I can think about when I'm with these people, and it's certainly all one of them wants to talk about. And I let them, because I'm torn between wanting to know and wanting to beat them with their own self-obsessedness (yes it's a word) solidified into the form of a large club. Another is the complete opposite, and I still want to talk about it, and when they do, I hate it. I've been so obvious now. I don't know why I don't just hold a parade about the whole fucking thing. It's not who you think it is. Whoever you think, you're wrong. Fuck.
I could just not publish this. I could ignore it all, since it's been written down. Except I want the people to know that this sucks, but also I don't want to know that it's them..:*
Egad and ack. This isn't helping at all. Right I'm off to throw something.
Ciao ciao>:<
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