Stealing Kate's Idea

Yeah so I'm looking at textsfromlastnight.com so I'm going to steal Kate's idea and put up the ones I'm actual loling at, cos I want to share.

(215): i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section

(401): This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?

(857): seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.

(720): o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket

(484): Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.

(850): Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
(850): I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife

(405): Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.

(406): my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute

(734): i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
(1-734): what was she crying about?
(734): i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.

(919): i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"

(978): i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven

(972): some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.

(402): lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
(1-402): IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.

(619): you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
(716): do you not see the irony in that??

(818): I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff

(250): Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
(1-250): I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.

(559): Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE !!!!!!!

(440): I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.

Look a blog!

I don't apologise for the lack of blogs, as I've had other less trying things to do, and nothing to write about and all that.

So for the last couple of nights even been having really vivid dreams. But not like normal, with people I know in a wacky situation dreams, but like proper complex people I've never met before type dreams. I'd try to describe some of them for you (cos I know you're dying to hear) but aside from the fact that other people's dreams are NEVER interesting, I can't remember enough of them to make them coherent. Brief snatches of things people said, glimpses of faceless people and our surroundings and just the feeling of "that was a good dream, I hate my alarm clock" is not really worth anything. And most of the time they have been really good, except for a proper scary nightmare I had in Bath, and it was the first one I had in literally ages. But otherwise it's been all good. I just had another one (I woke up about an hour ago)and just felt like writing about it. It was about then I realised that there wasn't much I could say.

And it's reasons like this that I haven't written any blogs in for ages.
Righto I'm off to find some food.